Arjun Srivastava's Library
Rating: ****
Tags: Psychology, Self-Help, Personal Growth, Creative Ability, Success, Personality, Lang:en
Publisher: Broadway
Added: August 28, 2018
Modified: November 5, 2021
Summary
At least one-third of the people we know are introverts.
They are the ones who prefer listening to speaking, reading to
partying; who innovate and create but dislike self-promotion;
who favor working on their own over brainstorming in teams.
Although they are often labeled "quiet," it is to introverts
that we owe many of the great contributions to society--from
van Gogh’s sunflowers to the invention of the personal
computer.
Passionately argued, impressively researched, and filled
with indelible stories of real people,
Quiet shows how dramatically we undervalue introverts,
and how much we lose in doing so. Taking the reader on a
journey from Dale Carnegie’s birthplace to Harvard
Business School, from a Tony Robbins seminar to an evangelical
megachurch, Susan Cain charts the rise of the Extrovert Ideal
in the twentieth century and explores its far-reaching effects.
She talks to Asian-American students who feel alienated from
the brash, backslapping atmosphere of American schools. She
questions the dominant values of American business culture,
where forced collaboration can stand in the way of innovation,
and where the leadership potential of introverts is often
overlooked. And she draws on cutting-edge research in
psychology and neuroscience to reveal the surprising
differences between extroverts and introverts.
Perhaps most inspiring, she introduces us to successful
introverts--from a witty, high-octane public speaker who
recharges in solitude after his talks, to a record-breaking
salesman who quietly taps into the power of questions. Finally,
she offers invaluable advice on everything from how to better
negotiate differences in introvert-extrovert relationships to
how to empower an introverted child to when it makes sense to
be a "pretend extrovert."
This extraordinary book has the power to permanently change
how we see introverts and, equally important, how introverts
see themselves.
Amazon Best Books of the Month, January 2012:
How many introverts do you know? The real answer will probably
surprise you. In our culture, which emphasizes group work from
elementary school through the business world, everything seems
geared toward extroverts. Luckily, introverts everywhere have a
new spokesperson: Susan Cain, a self-proclaimed introvert
who’s taken it upon herself to better understand the
place of introverts in culture and society. With
Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t
Stop Talking, Cain explores introversion through
psychological research old and new, personal experiences, and
even brain chemistry, in an engaging and highly-readable
fashion. By delving into introversion, Cain also seeks to find
ways for introverts and extroverts to better understand one
another--and for introverts to understand their own
contradictions, such as the ability to act like extroverts in
certain situations. Highly accessible and uplifting for any
introvert--and any extrovert who knows an introvert (and over
one-third of us are introverts)--
Quiet has the potential to revolutionize the
“extrovert ideal.”
–Malissa Kent
Amazon Exclusive: Q & A with Author Susan
Cain
Q: Why did you write the book?
Q: What personal significance does the subject have for
you?
Q: Was there ever a time when American society valued
introverts more highly?
Q: You discuss how we can better embrace introverts in
the workplace. Can you explain?
Q:
Quiet offers some terrific insights for the parents of
introverted children. What environment do introverted kids need
in order to thrive, whether it’s at home or at
school?
Q: What are the advantages to being an
introvert?
By Susan Cain
Introduction
At least one-third of the people we know are introverts.
They are the ones who prefer listening to speaking, reading to
partying; who innovate and create but dislike self-promotion;
who favor working on their own over brainstorming in teams.
Although they are often labeled "quiet," it is to introverts
that we owe many of the great contributions to society-from van
Gogh’s sunflowers to the invention of the personal
computer.
Passionately argued, impressively researched, and filled
with indelible stories of real people,
Quiet shows how dramatically we undervalue introverts,
and how much we lose in doing so. This extraordinary book has
the power to permanently change how we see introverts and,
equally important, how introverts see themselves.
Questions and Topics for Discussion
Based on the quiz in the book, do you think you’re
an introvert, an extrovert, or an ambivert? Are you an
introvert in some situations and an extrovert in
others? What about the important people in your lives—your
partner, your friends, your kids? Which parts of QUIET resonated most strongly with you?
Were there parts you disagreed with—and if so,
why? Can you think of a time in your life when being an
introvert proved to be an advantage? Who are your favorite introverted role models? Do you agree with the author that introverts can be good
leaders? What role do you think charisma plays in
leadership? Can introverts be charismatic? If you’re an introvert, what do you find most
challenging about working with extroverts? If you’re an extrovert, what do you find most
challenging about working with introverts? QUIET explains how Western society evolved from a
Culture of Character to a Culture of Personality. Are there
enclaves in our society where a Culture of Character still
holds sway? What would a twenty-first-century Culture of
Character look like? QUIET talks about the New Groupthink, the value system
holding that creativity and productivity emerge from group
work rather than individual thought. Have you experienced
this in your own workplace? Do you think your job suits your temperament? If not,
what could you do to change things? If you have children, how does your temperament compare
to theirs? How do you handle areas in which you’re
not temperamentally compatible? If you’re in a relationship, how does your
temperament compare to that of your partner? How do you
handle areas in which you’re not compatible? Do you enjoy social media such as Facebook and Twitter,
and do you think this has something to do with your
temperament? QUIET talks about “restorative niches,” the
places introverts go or the things they do to recharge
their batteries. What are your favorite restorative
niches? Susan Cain calls for a Quiet Revolution. Would you like
to see this kind of a movement take place, and if so, what
is the number-one change you’d like to see
happen?
“A superbly researched, deeply insightful, and
fascinating book that will change forever the way society views
introverts.”
From the Hardcover edition.
Amazon.com Review
A: For the same reason that Betty Friedan
published
The Feminine Mystique in 1963. Introverts are to
extroverts what women were to men at that time--second-class
citizens with gigantic amounts of untapped talent. Our schools,
workplaces, and religious institutions are designed for
extroverts, and many introverts believe that there is something
wrong with them and that they should try to “pass”
as extroverts. The bias against introversion leads to a
colossal waste of talent, energy, and, ultimately,
happiness.
A: When I was in my twenties, I started
practicing corporate law on Wall Street. At first I thought I
was taking on an enormous challenge, because in my mind, the
successful lawyer was comfortable in the spotlight, whereas I
was introverted and occasionally shy. But I soon realized that
my nature had a lot of advantages: I was good at building loyal
alliances, one-on-one, behind the scenes; I could close my
door, concentrate, and get the work done well; and like many
introverts, I tended to ask a lot of questions and listen
intently to the answers, which is an invaluable tool in
negotiation. I started to realize that there’s a lot more
going on here than the cultural stereotype of the
introvert-as-unfortunate would have you believe. I had to know
more, so I spent the past five years researching the powers of
introversion.
A: In the nation’s earlier years it was
easier for introverts to earn respect. America once embodied
what the cultural historian Warren Susman called a
“Culture of Character,” which valued inner
strength, integrity, and the good deeds you performed when no
one was looking. You could cut an impressive figure by being
quiet, reserved, and dignified. Abraham Lincoln was revered as
a man who did not “offend by superiority,” as
Emerson put it.
A: Introverts thrive in environments that are
not overstimulating—surroundings in which they can think
(deeply) before they speak. This has many implications. Here
are two to consider: (1) Introverts perform best in quiet,
private workspaces—but unfortunately we’re trending
in precisely the opposite direction, toward open-plan offices.
(2) If you want to get the best of all your employees’
brains, don’t simply throw them into a meeting and assume
you’re hearing everyone’s ideas. You’re not;
you’re hearing from the most vocally assertive people.
Ask people to put their ideas in writing before the meeting,
and make sure you give everyone time to speak.
A: The best thing parents and teachers can do
for introverted kids is to treasure them for who they are, and
encourage their passions. This means: (1) Giving them the space
they need. If they need to recharge alone in their room after
school instead of plunging into extracurricular activities,
that’s okay. (2) Letting them master new skills at their
own pace. If they’re not learning to swim in group
settings, for example, teach them privately. (3) Not calling
them “shy”--they’ll believe the label and
experience their nervousness as a fixed trait rather than an
emotion they can learn to control.
A: There are too many to list in this short
space, but here are two seemingly contradictory qualities that
benefit introverts: introverts like to be alone--and introverts
enjoy being cooperative. Studies suggest that many of the most
creative people are introverts, and this is partly because of
their capacity for quiet. Introverts are careful, reflective
thinkers who can tolerate the solitude that idea-generation
requires. On the other hand,
implementing good ideas requires cooperation, and
introverts are more likely to prefer cooperative environments,
while extroverts favor competitive ones.
A Reader’s Guide for
Quiet:The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t
Stop Talking
Review
—
Gretchen Rubin, author of
The Happiness Project
“
Susan Cain is the definer of a new and valuable
paradigm. In this moving and original argument, she
makes the case that we are losing immense reserves of talent
and vision because of our culture's overvaluation of
extroversion.
A startling, important and readable page-turner that
will make quiet people see themselves in a whole new
light.”
—
Naomi Wolf, author of
The Beauty Myth
“Think Malcolm Gladwell for people who don’t take
themselves too seriously. Mark my words, this book will be a
bestseller.”
—
Guy Kawasaki, author of
Enchantment
“Susan Cain has done a superb job of sifting through
decades of complex research. . . .
This book will be a boon for the many highly
sensitive people who are also introverts.”
—
Elaine Aron, author of
The Highly Sensitive Person